Game 36

I've got the excuse of old age, senility is definitely setting in as I edge towards 50 but what's Fat Lad's excuse who is still on the sunny side of 40!

I have a missed call from Fat Lad as I set off this morning and I wondered if his game was off. I returned the call and he tells me that he's an idiot as he's had to go back home as he forgot his boots. I laugh A LOT!!! I take the mickey A LOT!!! I thank my lucky stars I don't forget things A LOT!!! And I drive on to the changing rooms for the morning game.

The home team's pub shut down over a year ago but they still have access to the changing rooms kindly fitted out by the previous landlord. While they have electricity connected, there is no water, so no showers. In these circumstances I always travel changed and just pop a training top, waterproof jacket and tracksuit bottoms over my kit. I did the same this morning but because it has been a good Christmas I decided not to put my shirt on under my training top. Instead I threw it over the end of the bed, ready to be put into my kit bag. It remained there, despite me arriving at the changing rooms and I suddenly realised that senility had made me leave it behind and for all my laughing at Fat Lad, I had no shirt and was too far from home to go and get it without delaying kick off!

Fortunately (sadly depending on how you look at things) I always carry a spare kit in my car and I had to resort to this kit to spare my blushes. It is from three seasons ago and it was always tight back then and after my Christmas, it didn't exactly look like it was painted on, but it was a bit tight!

So to the game ...

I did my warm up and didn't see anything untoward except I had no away team, no corner flags and no team sheets with less than 10 minutes to kick off. Things improved quickly as the away team turned up, the team sheets also appeared but no corner flags! They arrived late and we kicked off 10 minutes late.

I had to deal with a few offside calls as both front lines pushed things to the limit. The away manager is an old refereeing colleague who hung up his whistle a few years ago. He was cajoling his team and berating them for challenging my calls. His son plays for his team now and we've already talked about him taking up the whistle in a few years when his body won't take the weekly battering any more (always, always looking for new referees!).

The game went on for almost 20 minutes without me needing to give a penal free kick and then suddenly a needless trip saw me award a kick from the penalty mark. My colleague's son stepped up and promptly blasted the ball wide of the goal. About the same time I noticed that the home team had swapped the captain's arm band between their midfielder and their centre half. The new captain had taken a knock and as I checked him I noticed he was wearing a ring, taped up.

I'd carried out a footwear and jewellery inspection before the game and hadn't noted that, which meant he had obviously popped it back on and taped it. I decided I would put him on the touchline while he removed the ring and get him back in play asap. He decided differently and nonchalantly slipped back on to the field while I was engaged in controlling the game at the opposite end of the field. He hadn't however accounted for my awareness and I spotted him after about 10 seconds. I let play continue as the opposing team were in possession and moving up the field, but as soon as the ball went out of play, he got the game's first caution.

Soon afterwards a fantastic corner from the away team was powered into the goal by one of the tall midfield players and despite this happening in the 23rd minute, I cannot remember any other incident of note in the half. I think I maybe gave another 2 free kicks for foul challenges.

The second half started brightly and having overheard some of the team talk from both managers I knew that the home team were going to start strongly. They had introduced two substitutes who were brothers. I had seen both play earlier in the season and knew they would take the opportunity to run at the away team's back line. And so it began with the home team running at the away team and the away team knocking the ball long to my colleague's son who was performing the holding role (and the offside percentages) hoping to get support from the free running midfielders around him.

One of the home team's midfield players began to become a little too "enthusiastic" in the tackle. I spoke to him on one occasion and had to caution him soon afterwards as my colleague's son was fouled on the edge on the home team's penalty area after a good run on goal. On another day I might had considered a dismissal for DOGSO, but we'd played 2/3 of the game and I had reason to doubt the ability of the away team forward to fashion an OGSO from the position in which he was fouled. So the caution seemed enough.

A few minutes later the same player took a corner which was deflected into the away team's goal which turned out to be the last goal of the game and the equaliser. The game became a little fractious with challenges, fouls and lunges taking place all over the field. I was coping well with the end to end nature of the game as both teams chased the winning goal; it never came. In fact only one thing got near the net in the remainder of the second half. That happened when a spectator's dog ran on to the field, straight into the goal, through the net and off the field again. the net was re-pegged and the game continued.

One more incident which typifies the passion of the people who turn out every week for Sunday morning pub team football. A ball went wide and was heading out for a throw in very close to the half way line when a helpful club official stuck out a foot and stopped the ball (but it hadn't crossed the touchline). When I went across to supervise the resulting drop ball I was subjected to a stream of passionate (a euphemism for abusive) comments and I ended up asking the person to move away from the field. I couldn't help but laugh (inside), we shook hands afterwards and remained friends.

So another enjoyable game came to an end at 1-1 with just two cautions, both for the home team. 1481 calories burned, 92% max with a 77% average. A nice long report as well which I think, like yesterday, reflects the fact that I am enjoying my football again after the horror game just before Christmas.