My eyes were tired, my legs were tired and my patience was tired

My eyes were tired, my legs were tired and my patience was tired, but more of that later. After two afternoons of refereeing in a local junior football tournament I feel I'm reasonably well placed to judge whether The FA's Respect Programme is having any effect at the lowest level of the game.

I need to go back a few years to when I started refereeing to give the rest of this post some context. My son's age group were moving from 2 teams of 7 a side to 1 team of 11 a side. The league at the time required all clubs to have a qualified referee, so me and another dad were packed off to a working men's club in a nearby village for a few weeks, asked some questions and completed an exam paper. We were then pushed out into the world of junior football without any form of support. The other dad lasted a handful of seasons while I progressed into open age football after a few years before broadening my scope into assessing and tutoring. I'm still here after 13 years and knees willing, I'll still be here in another 13 years.

In those early days, refereeing U11 football with a couple of dozen whirling Dervishes on the touchline was an education. I learnt that giving a free kick against the star striker for pushing, then disallowing his goal usually resulted in a long stream of verbal abuse, sometimes containing what we euphemistically call in refereeing "offensive" language. Those are the words that begin with f and go on from there. I also learnt that the concepts within Law 11 (Offside) were something very few people outside of refereeing could get to grips with. Most of what I learnt was that to many on the touchline, the games their children were involved in were the highlight of an often dreary week and woe betide any referee who was going to spoil their enjoyment, even if this did mean sending off their child for punching an opponent.

The players themselves were generally well behaved. The times when I had to sanction a player's actions with more than a free kick were few and far between. I only wish the same could be said of the coaches and parents. The Respect programme was introduced in 2008 and was intended to tackle the types of issues referees faced when working alone at the bottom of the game and also in the professional game. It was correctly recognised that the influence exerted by the coaches and parents far outstripped the influence the referee could exert in those 80 minute periods each Saturday or Sunday.

The programme introduced barriers to keep spectators away from encroaching on to the field of play and to separate parents from coaches. It introduced a series of viral videos and web pages which demonstrated the impact of parents and coaches on the game but more importantly the younger players. So how has it worked?

Well I spent last season easing myself back into junior football with a local league and generally the behaviour was of a good standard, with a small number of exceptions. Over the weekend I was refereeing games back to back for an average of 4 1/2 hours on each day (Saturday and Sunday). On the first day I only had to speak to one player about his behaviour regarding decisions, spoke to two coaches, one about his own behaviour and another seeking assistance managing a parent. After this last incident I had three other parents thanking me for my actions in dealing with the individual. As for the player, he apologised at the end of the game and when I saw him later in the tournament, he was all smiles and happy to listen.

On the second day, working with older age groups, the incidents involving player behaviour increased slightly, but the most refreshing thing was the coach dealt with the player immediately. I had no issues with the coaches who were extremely helpful with one in particular dealing with three separate incidents across two games. As for the parents themselves, they were in the main very good in terms of their support for their players, however much of their advice was misplaced and often in contradiction with the instructions of the coaches.

What was noticeable on both days of this tournament in every game where I refereed a team for the first time, teams tested my tolerance levels. This might have been on the strength of a tackle or the position from which a throw in was taken, but little tests were thrown up in the first minute of every game. It certainly kept me alert!

Taking into account the experience gained over the last 13 years, working in junior football, open age football and also working with some excellent colleagues, I have to say that things have changed, but maybe I have changed more. Maybe I have more tools with which to manage situations? So I have to consider the impact on other referees. I observed a handful of games while I was awaiting my new assignments in the latter stages of both days. I saw some great interaction between referee, players and coaches which bodes well for the future.

One thing that I did notice was the willingness of the players to have a laugh and a joke with me, even when things weren't going well for their team. Across teams as well, if something unusual happened in the game such as a strange bounce leaving two opponents looking around for the ball which was behind them, everyone found it funny, even those involved. They weren't embarrassed or annoyed that people were laughing, they were laughing along with them.

So has Respect made a difference? I believe it has had a positive effect. It seems to have put the smile back on the face of football, certainly at junior level. I just hope that continues as these players move through the age groups.