It made me think about something that had been said to me on a few occasions over the last 3 weeks or so. It was "Thanks for being honest". A simple statement but the manner in which it was said spoke volumes about the hidden message behind the words.
Speaking of honesty, it was interesting to see that a high profile player in the English Premier League was cautioned yesterday for obvious simulation. To compound matters he was berated by his manager (at least publicly) after the game.
Back to my three scenarios ... The first came after a de-brief during which I had to deliver a hefty dose of realistic developmental feedback. The "honesty" comment appeared genuine at the time and I thought nothing of it until I was notified that my "honesty" in the match report had been appealed by the referee. Nothing had been added in that wasn't in the de-brief so it was a little disappointing.
The second time came through an email after I had sent a report to an Assistant. He has aspirations for promotion and I've never seen him referee before but he did ok on this game with a couple of development points. Unfortunately they fell into a couple of areas where the mark was heavily weighted and that impacted on his mark. I therefore feel his thanks for my honesty were tinged with more than a modicum of disappointment.
The third time I was thanked came via a DM on Twitter. A referee asked me for my thoughts on a scenario based on my experience. I gave him some feedback and it appeared he had been through the experience personally coming out the other side not completely unscathed. My honesty on this occasion was not about his refereeing but my own style and on this occasion I felt his comment was genuine. He even went as far as saying honesty was a good trait.
I'm not good at telling lies (don't like to either - Catholic guilt!) and I'm not concerned too much at people taking umbrage for my honesty. I am concerned that my honesty crosses the line and I'm construed as being "brutally honest", that would not be a good thing as it suggests a lack of empathy.
Oh well, hopefully I won't upset too many. The player who was cautioned for simulation later won a penalty kick for his team when he fell after being lightly barged by a defender. The defender was dismissed for DOGSO. I'm not sure the penalty would have been awarded were it not for the earlier caution. Just my honest opinion.
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