Never work with children or animals

... is a maxim in the acting profession.

Referees should have their own equivalent which refers to never refereeing friendlies for friends and work colleagues. The game this afternoon between the two warehouses on our site at work was a game between two teams of players who looked like they hadn't played since leaving school. In fact some play regularly to a decent standard but not with the same players as they turned out with today. Consequently there was a lot shouting at team mates, missed passes and blaming the referee when in fact it was their own fault they conceded goals and/or free kicks.

The game passed without the mass confrontation that these games sometimes throw up but there was a few players who seemed to have grudges to settle. I had a total of 5 cautions surprisingly one for each goalkeeper. The first for repeatedly failing to play the ball out of his penalty area from a goal kick. He did it 5 times before the card came out! The other keeper collected the ball in his hands when it was deliberately played to him by a team mate and when the atacker was lining up the free kick awarded against him, he kicked the ball away denying the attack an advantage.

One caution to each side for unsporting behaviour for fouls on opponents were also given out and the last one was for simulation by an attacker who claimed he had been fouled and deserved a kick from the penalty mark. He hadn't and the only thing he got was a caution and the wrath of his team mates.

As far as the score was concerned it went 1-0, 1-1, 2-1, 2-2, 2-3, 3-3, 4-3, 4-4, 5-4, 6-4,7-4,8-4 and finished 9-4. At least three of the goals by the winning team were partially saved by the goalkeeper but his parry was too weak and the ball entered the goal.

I worked up a nice sweat in the first half as I kept pace with play all the time (never more than 15 yards from the ball). In the heat of the second half and with a dull ache creeping into my left calf, too often I found myself out of position by 20 yards. It didn't affect my judgement of decisions but I felt like I wasn't working hard enough.

So why the reference to not refereeing for friends and colleagues? I got more moaning and whinging from the wannabe players who never get closer to a football than Soccer AM on a Saturday morning on SKY Tv. Everything was wrong ... when I gave a foul I should have let play run, when I blew for offside I was wrong, when I didn't blow for offside against inactive players I was wrong ... there was no winning today.

Also there was a distinct lack of appreciation from these weekend warriors. The players who play regularly, paid me more than one compliment and were happy to shake my hand at the end of the game. So I drive home feeling a little sore but glad of the run out. Next time they want a referee though ... I might be busy